what else to post?

this is my fourth post for this year, pero still, when it comes to work, this is my stressssss blog.

when it comes to stress, i always think of my mom. she usually stays up very late at night (the main reason i can go online at this very late hour), and i wonder if she will understand if i told her i am very stressed and i don't want to go to work tomorrow anymore. she might just raise her eyebrow while pointing a finger at the several piles of papers and folders scattered around our living room, and turning to the calendar to remind me that she's already 50+ years old.

okay, point taken.

but i think that her stress level is different from mine. you see, if she has deadlines, then she will really be stressed out, especially if we have a spacious living room and you can't barely move around without hitting one of her accounting journals. but everything she needs is already there, she only has to look for it. the goal is already set, and her main concern is time, that is, if she can finish everything within the period given to her.

well mine...let's just say that i'm always given projects by three different bosses, all of whom are usually at odds with each other. one will approve, the other will not, while the third will just...nod. i have to start everything again, and i don't know which way to go. then of course, they will also give you orders that are impossible to do. and how is that? i am a very diligent person when it comes to research, but i can't set standards for procedures i am not exposed to or have technical knowledge of. can a chef set how many gallons of chemical is needed to neutralize the acidity of a swimming pool? he sees how the lifeguard or the pool maintenance personnel does it, can actually see how it was done, but CAN he set the standard for it? no. so how in the world shall i do something of equal absurdity? ask them to send me back to school, get a new degree, and i promise i can give them all the data they needed. as if.

then there's all the other smaller details that grows and multiplies like gremlins who wandered off to our laundry area. they just kept getting more and more annoying, and the worse part is that they can't be killed easily.

so in short, my stress isn't the time limit, but the goal itself. i don't know where and how to start, while at the same time futilely dodging other lemons labelled SUPPLIES, SUPPLIER, PAYROLL, EXTRA MANPOWER, HIRING, TRAINING, CUSTOMER COMPLAINTS, EMAILED INQUIRIES, MISCELLANEOUS 1, MISCELLANEOUS 2, and FAVORS. oh and let's add the most rotten of them all - HOTEL SYSTEM CRASHING DOWN slash LOSS OF ALL DATA slash SUMMER IS HERE AND WE HAVE NO F***IN' RESERVATION SYSTEM.

and i am not exaggerating.

sometimes i wonder why i am still working for them.

they make me sick. literally.