TROUBLESOME RANDOM THOUGHTS

I was sitting idly on my chair, making ddodles on my scrappy notebook.
I saw my classmate and i suddenly had the URGE to write him something.
Minutes later, the tiny paper found its way to the cute, dimpled guy
some four seats away from me. He read it, looked at me, and wrote
something back in return. He handed me the paper, and written on it, in my
childish handwriting -- "Crush kita, pero silver medalist ka lang!" (i
can't remember who was the gold handler then). And beneath it was his
short reply -- "Crush din kita." And i smiled.

Weeks later, he confessed to me that he really was into my bestfriend.
And he was the first to break my tender ten year-old heart.

In high school, i found myself pining for the guy that was stalked by
almost half of the female population of the entire school. He was pretty
popular, alright. And who would've thought that bridging the gap
between my friend and her long-time crush would led to my own confessions to
that conceited bastard, who, one month later, became my new
bestfriend's boyfriend. But that was in high school. I do not take things
seriously in high school. And so, i was happy for them.

College. Life here is complicated. I met someone and became friends
with that someone. We had great times together, we had lots of fun
together, we had slept on the same house, same room, same bed together. All in
all, everything went out smoothly. And thanks to the power of
technology, very much proven (and overabused) by text messaging, i was left
again shattered, and wondering why there are some men who can't take
confessions lightly. And the biggest mystery yet to uncover was the reason
WHY, why is that the biggest idiot who broke your heart is the person you
just couldn't take off your head, as much as you wanted to strangle him
alive, curse him with every swear word available on any unwritten
dictionary, and torture him with all the voodoo stuff you can learn from
Charmed, Buffy and Angel. And still, he is the person you wanted to return
to, if time gives you a chance. If HE gives you that chance.

*sigh* Very troublesome thoughts, indeed..